Most Halloween boards are a fight between looking spooky and tasting good. Candy eyeballs on brie. Orange food colouring in places it should never be.
You can have both, without a single drop of dye. The secret is that a lot of genuinely great food is already a little bit creepy.
The spooky shopping list
A tin of squid in ink, balsamic pearls, a bloomy-rind cheese, a dark red jam, seeded crackers, black olives and dark chocolate. Serve on something dark.
Start with a dark palette
A black slate, a dark wood board or a platter lined with black parchment. Everything on it will look ten times more dramatic.
Add a couple of candles nearby. Not on the board, please.
The creepy crawlies: squid in ink
The scariest-looking thing in our shop is also one of the most delicious. Jet black, glossy and wildly savoury.
Open the tin, leave it in the middle and watch people dare each other.
The eyeballs: balsamic pearls
Tiny glossy spheres that pop with sweet, tangy balsamic. Spoon them over a soft cheese and they look like a nest of something you shouldn't touch.
They taste like the best part of a caprese salad.
The ghosts: bloomy rinds
A white, velvety rind is basically a ghost already. Cut a little face into the top if you're feeling crafty.
The blood: dark red jams
A pool of Figs and Port Jam next to a sharp cheddar looks dramatic and tastes like fall.
Drizzle it slightly messily. It's Halloween, not a dinner party.
The graveyard dirt: crunch
Scatter dark crackers and seeded toasts around the edges. Dates, Hazelnuts and Pumpkin Seed Toasts are on theme and very good with blue or cheddar.
Add black olives and a few squares of dark chocolate for good measure.
What to pour
A deep red for the vampires, or something sparkling and pink if you want the whole thing to look like a potion.
Not up for building it yourself? Come by 614 Gerrard St E and tell us you want something spooky. We'll pick the cheeses and the creepiest tins on the wall. #AllTheBestStuff